


John Paul's Adventures in Dublinland

by Noelle12



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:52:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noelle12/pseuds/Noelle12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is slightly au. It's told exclusively from Craig's POV.  Set in Dublin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I stumble blindly out of bed. The self induced hangover is banging a staccato in my head. I head to the tiny bathroom in our tiny flat after tripping over the laundry pile on the floor reaching out for the wall to keep myself steady. I squint my eyes against the bright sunlight that dares to peek through the slats of the blinds and I curse myself for letting me drink so much. But I guess that's what college students do. I empty my bladder and try to wash some of the grit that's accumulated from my drinking binge last night. Where the fuck did we go last night?

I exit the loo and walk towards the kitchen to wash some of the nasty taste out of my mouth. Walking through the sitting room, I notice a man sprawled across the pull out couch. He's in nothing but boxers lying on his stomach and the sheets he must have kicked off during the night hanging off the side. I scan him for a moment, trying to place him. Do I know him? What is he doing here? I hope I didn't just pick up a straggler last night. Shaking my head to clear it, which turns out to be a fatal mistake as the pounding picks up into an allegro.

I stagger through to the kitchen where the greatest decision of my life, or so it seems at the time. Coffee, tea or hair of the dog. Fuck it, I plug in the coffee pot, measuring the right amount. I grab the Irish whiskey, you know, when in Rome and all that. Then guzzle a bottle of water while I wait for the coffee to finish dripping into the pot. I stand in the entry that separates the kitchen from the sitting room wondering where this man came from.

I hear a door opening and another closing at the end of the hall. Then the toilet flushes. Katy comes stumbling down the hall, glances at the sleeping form on the couch and a fond smile graces her features. She practically lurches into me as I watch her approach.

"Sh." I admonish her while catching her before she falls.

"Thanks." She whispers.

"What's all this?" I ask indicating the man on the couch. She turns to see what I mean and the man rolls over at the same time revealing a very large morning glory peeking out from under the waistband of his boxers.

"Mmmmm." He lightly moans.

Katy stifles a giggle behind her hand and I pull her into the kitchen. She settles at the tiny table and I turn to pour the coffees adding a shot of whiskey into mine. I wave the bottle in her direction and she shakes her head no. I place the coffees on the table and sit down.

"So?" I ask her.

"So what?" She responds

"Who is that?" I ask pinching the bridge of my nose. Katy seems to want to make this as difficult as possible.

"A friend from back home." She answers tersely not giving an inch.

"Why is he here?" I ask trying to keep calm so I don’t exacerbate my headache.

"Some trouble in the village. He needed to get away for a bit." She answers without really admitting anything.

"And how long is a bit?" I try to dig for more information.

"I dunno... a weekmaybemore." She strings her words together.

"Maybe more?!" I exclaim.

"Sh." She reminds me.

"No, really, who is he? Do I know him?" I ask lowering my voice.

"I don't think so. You'd already left for Trinity before he moved to town."

"Bloody hell. So what'd he do? Did he nick some old lady's panties off her clothesline?" I ask jokingly, but to some that would be a crime in Hollyoaks.

"Um... no. I don't think he'd do that. He won't tell me what happened though." She says with a sigh.

"There's no village rumors going around?" I prod.

"I don't keep up with anyone from there.” She answers disdain tainting her voice.

“Crap.” I say rubbing the back of my neck. “You couldn’t have at least asked me before inviting some guy to come and move in with us?” I ask feeling a bit put out.

“What do you want me to do, Craig? He was my best friend and he called me up asking for a favor. What did you want me to say? No? You know how bad it can be there. You lived there too.” Katy explains.

There’s really nothing I can say that. I do know how bad the village can get. They vilify you for the slightest infraction. I’ve seen it happen to my family, so I could kind of sympathize, but I’m still not happy about it.

We sit and sip our coffee in silence for a few moments. I hear the bedsprings creaking in the sitting room and the man fills up the doorway leaning lazily against the jamb.

“Morning.” He says behind a yawn. “Any coffee going to spare?” He greets us in a sleepy voice while standing there in his boxers.

“Of course, John Paul.” Katy answers smiling immensely at him and getting up to give him a kiss on the cheek. She turns to me, “Craig, John Paul. John Paul, Craig.”


	2. Chapter 2

Another drunken night, another hungover morning.

I hike down the hall in desperate need of some coffee. I enter the kitchen to see John Paul already settled at the table with a bowl of cereal and the morning paper.

“Mmmning.” He greets me with a mouthful of cereal.

“Morning.” I mumble uncaringly in his general direction. I pour out a cup of coffee then reach into the fridge for the milk. Fuck, the container is empty. “What the fuck? Why is there an empty milk container in the refrigerator?” I ask between clenched teeth.

“Oh yeah, sorry. We’re out of milk.” John Paul apologizes.

“If you used all the milk… why is the container still in the fridge?” I ask incredulously.

“Force of habit… In my house the last person to touch the carton, had to go buy more.” He grins sheepishly.

“How the fuck am I going to drink my coffee?”

“Here, have mine.” He offers the almost full cup to me.

“Fine.” I respond and fall huffingly into the chair across the table from him. He still has no shirt on and is just in boxers again. What is he conceited or something? Likes to show off his body? Or is it just to save money on wash day?

I notice he’s turned his attention back to the newspaper. “What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Looking for a job.” He responds.

“You’re staying?” I ask incredulously. I thought a few days to cool off and he’d be on his way back home.

“Yeah.” Is his one word response.

“Here?” I ask my voice rising in pitch.

“Yeah.” He says again.

“Great.” I mutter as sarcastically as possible.

“What’s your problem?” John Paul asks eyeing me up over the paper, spoon poised in the air.

“YOU’RE my problem.” I snarl at him. “Eating my food, drinking my milk, always fucking here.”

“Sorry, if my presence is such a hardship on you, but I should be gone soon.” He answers dismissively as if my opinion as to who lives in MY flat doesn’t matter. I grab the coffee cup and stomp from the room intending to take a shower and wash last night’s drink off of me.

“See ya.” I hear him call after me.

“Fucker.” I mutter under my breath.

 

I go to lectures and stay out with my study group to finalize the outline of our presentation. The time grows late and my eyes grow heavy as I make my way back home.

I enter the flat, there’s low music playing, but the sitting room is dark. I snap on the lights to find John Paul and some random bloke on the couch. John Paul is straightening his clothes and the bloke wipes his mouth with his hand.

“What the….” I ask confused. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

“We were, uh…” John Paul starts. The bloke looks me up and down.

“Who’s this?” He asks John Paul.

“That’s Craig. He lives here.” John Paul answers. I just look between the two of them. There’s something wrong here and I just can’t put my finger on it.

“Is he joining us?” The bloke asks with a predatory grin.

“No!” John Paul protests then stands up and grabs the man by the arm “Let’s go.”

“That’s a shame.” The man says eyes never leaving me even as John Paul steers him towards the door. I watch as they leave and am still staring at the now closed door when Katy comes out of her room.

“What’s the matter?” She asks me, which shakes me out of my reverie.

“I… I don’t know.” I admit dropping my bag and settling on the couch where John Paul was just… what? Doing what with some guy?

“Did John Paul leave with that guy?” She asks me.

I nod a response.

“I hope it doesn’t bother you. I thought they’d be gone before you got home.” Katy explains.

“What? What bother me?” I ask still confused.

“That he’s gay.” She answers quietly.

“Oh…” I respond, then. “Oh.” As it settles in. “That makes sense.”

“Yeah. He’s not exactly shy about it, but I told him not to say anything.” Katy further explains. “I wasn’t sure if you’d let him stay if you knew.”

I feel kind of shocked. John Paul didn’t seem the type. But really what is the ‘type’? I didn’t look at him and see the stereotypical swishing gay man that you see in the movies or on telly, a parody of the stereotype.

“Why… why would you think that?” I ask astonished.

“Well, you have a tendency to make comments sometimes.” She says evasively.

“Like… like what?” Was I giving off some homophobic vibe?

“Well, sometimes you’ll say stuff like, that’s so queer… or like, he’s so gay… I mean, it’s nothing too bad, but… I don’t know….” She pauses to think for a minute. “Like it’s not normal or that gay men are weak. You make fun of a weaker person by calling them gay.” She finishes it up.

“I… I don’t think that. I don’t feel that way.” I respond feeling hurt that she thinks so little of me. “Do I really do that?”

“Yeah, Craig, sometimes you do.” Katy says patting my hand.

“I guess I never thought about it before.” I say with some new thoughts floating around my head. "I need some sleep." I state picking up my bag and heading into my room.

"Good night, Craig." Katy calls after me.

"Night."


	3. Chapter 3

I find myself banging on the bathroom door the next morning. I’ve got lecture in less than 45 minutes and desperately need to get ready. “KATY!” I shout through the door.

“Um… that’s not me in there.” I hear her say from behind me. Great, just fucking great I mutter letting my head hit the door in frustration.

“JOHN PAUL!” I shout while banging on the door. I hear the shower turn off and a few moments later the door opens.

“What’s all the noise?” John Paul asks stepping out into the hall with my towel slung around his hips.

“I need to get to lecture.” I hiss through clenched teeth. “And that’s my towel.” I say pointing at his waist.

“Here.” He says taking the towel off and handing me the sodden piece of material. I can’t fucking believe him as I quickly avert my eyes upwards and away from his crotch.

Katy gasps and starts giggling.

“Jesus Christ.” I mutter stepping into the bathroom washing quickly with what hot water is left over, so I can possibly make it to lecture in time.

 

I finally get home after a long day of lectures and work to find Katy and John Paul eating takeaway in the kitchen.

“Come and join us, Craig.” Katy invites me. “John Paul bought enough for all of us.”

“Come on, mate, take a seat.” John Paul greets me kicking the chair out for me to sit down. “Let me get you a beer.” He offers heading to the fridge.

I sit down mouth agape. When did this reversal come about?

I help myself to some curry taking a mouthful of beer. Perfect is all I can think.

“So, John Paul was just telling me the tales of the McQueen clan.” Katy informs me.

“Oh yeah,” John Paul clarifies, “I think I made it up to the…”

“Jacqui’s sham marriage to that Albanian guy!” Katy interrupts.

“Aleks! He was something else. Married to one sister and sleeping with another. He had balls, I tell ya. At least until mum found out.” John Paul snorts then swigs his beer.

“He what?!” I ask incredulously.

“Yeah, he married Jacqui to stay in the country, then fell in love with Carmel. Mum heard us talking one day and thought he was sleeping with me. As if.” He rolls his eyes at the thought and takes a sip from his bottle.

“Your mum…” I start then quickly stop that train of thought from leaving the station. I was gonna say, your mum knows you’re gay, but why wouldn’t she? I dig into the curry and when I look up both Katy and John Paul are staring at me.

“What?” I ask them.

“You were in the middle of a sentence.” Katy says while studying me.

“Oh… um, I forgot what I was saying.” I stammer.

“Oh - kay…” John Paul drags out the word like I’m daft. “But then Aleks took off like the spineless little wimp he actually turned out to be. Broke Carmel’s heart that one did.”

“Oh, that sucks.” Katy sympathizes.

“Yeah… but anyway she’s getting married this coming fall.” John Paul tries to rationalize.

“Yeah?” I ask glad that this woman I’ve never met is getting married after enduring heartbreak. I’m turning into a right soppy bastard.

“Well that’s me.” Katy says standing up. “I’ve got a hot date.”

“Oi, missy, you better be careful out there. You know those boys are only after one thing.” John Paul cautions her.

“I know.” Katy acknowledges with a wicked grin and a wink. “Me too.”

“There’s my girl.” He says getting up to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll clean up.” He offers. “Oh, and Katy, don’t make any plans for tomorrow I got a gig lined up.”

“Oh, John Paul, that’s awesome!!” She squeals. “Where?”

“At The Dragon.”

“You’ll be brilliant… Shit, I gotta get ready. Bye loves.”

“Bye.” We both intone.

 

I head into the sitting room leaving John Paul to clean up. He joins me shortly afterwards and I challenge him to a game of FIFA on the Xbox.

“Katy is absolutely pants at it.” I tell him. “It’s nice to finally have some competition.

“Aw, mate, I’m gonna wipe the floor with ya.” John Paul ribs me.

“Yeah right.” I respond. “I think you’ll find that I am gonna wipe the floor with YOU.” I go to set the game up while John Paul gets more beer.

We actually have a good time trash talking each other. He makes for some stiff competition. After winning a game each, it’s too late to start another one, but I’m not ready to go to bed yet. So I flip through the channels trying to find a decent movie or something to pass the final few minutes of the night. John Paul has disappeared, probably to the loo or something.

He returns a few minutes later. “Come on, Craig.” John Paul whines. “I want to go to sleep.”

“So go to sleep.” I answer lightly reveling in his discomfort.

“I can’t. You’re sitting on my bed.” He complains further huffing and blocking my view of the TV. I just ignore him and try to look around him. And again he’s standing in just his boxers, hands on hips, looking completely narked off.

“Um… as I see it,” I reply looking at his face, “this is MY couch in MY flat. Why don’t you go get your own couch in your own flat and we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“Fine!” He huffs and strops out of the room. I smile to myself and turn back to what I was watching hoping he got the hint to leave.

Awhile later, I find myself nodding off to sleep on the couch. Finally deciding to turn in, I make my way to the bathroom to clean my teeth and get ready for bed. It’s when I enter my room and find John Paul rolled up in my duvet that I realize I failed to pay attention to where he’d gone.

“Oi!” I shout pushing him.

“Ungh… urgh.” He mumbles in his sleep.

I run my hands through my hair. “Get up!” I shout fuming at him and pushing him again.

“What?” He suddenly snaps out opening an eye to glare at me.

“Get out of my bed!” I scream.

“Jesus Christ. What is your problem? I can’t sleep on the couch… I can’t sleep in your bed. Where the fuck do you expect me to go?” He rages.

“I don’t care. Anywhere but here.” I seethe furiously.

“I don’t have anywhere to go!” He starts with vehemence, but then sounding a little lost.

And I melt at the sad little lost boy wrapped up in my duvet. Fuck… why does he have to turn those sad baby blues on me?

I sit down heavily on the bed next to him.

“Fuck, John Paul, what did you do?” I ask quietly calming my tone of voice.

“I can’t go back there.” He mumbles from under the duvet.

“Come on, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s happened.” Controlling the tenor of my voice.

“I can’t tell you.” Comes the mumbled reply.

“Fine, then at least let me have some covers, so I don’t freeze my arse off tonight.”

He releases the duvet and I slip under the covers. Once the lights are off again, a small voice offers, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I ask.

“For everything.” Comes his defeated reply.

“Go to sleep. It’s late.” I respond turning on my side and listening to his breathing while I try to get some sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I dream of strong arms, translucent skin and deep calming breaths. I wake up slowly realizing my arms are wrapped around a warm body. I pull back realizing I’m cuddling up to John Paul, the bane of my existence over the past few days. He mumbles incoherently in his waking moment and rolls onto his back stretching like a cat. I jump out of bed momentarily confused and staring as the duvet slips lower down his body revealing more of the translucent skin.

“Mmmmm.” He moans finally opening his eyes and catching me staring at him.

“Uh.” I respond unintelligibly and quickly turn towards my desk to gather some books and supplies for the day.

“I never expected Craig Dean to be a cuddler.” He says cheekily in a husky just woken up voice.

I spin around on him. “I never would have taken John Paul McQueen to be a drooler.” I retort. I gleefully watch as he blushes and wipes his mouth with his hand. That seems to have shut him up. I grab a towel and head out for a shower, but not before he adds his parting shot.

“Was that a banana in your pocket or were you just happy to see me?” He asks. I turn around again and he’s just smiling innocently back at me.

I give him the coldest glare I can muster despite the fact I can feel my cheeks burning then I turn and walk out the door slamming it childishly behind me.

I take a long hot shower trying not to think about his words. So he noticed my arousal, so what? All guys get morning wood. It’s not that unusual. It happens all the time. I convince myself that he’s just being a prat as I scrub the scent of him off my skin. It’s not my fault I have a small bed. I knew I should have thrown him back out to sleep on the couch. But a part of me is curious… really curious to find out what’s caused him to run so far away from home.

I slam the water off. This is not the start of my day that I was imagining. Thankfully John Paul has vacated my room. I dress and resort through my books and supplies realizing I grabbed all the wrong things in my ire before.

John Paul has tea waiting for me in the kitchen when I finally get out there for some breakfast. I don’t know why he’s being so accommodating all of a sudden. I gratefully accept his peace offering and sit down for some cereal and try to broach the subject of the runner he’s done.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He resolutely responds to my horribly veiled attempt to gain information.

“But you’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

“Why do you think I feel bad?”

“I… I don’t know.” I respond suddenly feeling very out of my depth.

“You wouldn’t or couldn’t possibly understand how I feel.” He says seething with an underlying anger.

“But you need to talk.” I insist.

“I need to get on with my life.” He responds with finality. “I’m going to take a shower.” He announces as he gets up and leaves.

I let out a deep breath I hadn’t even known I was holding. I quickly finish up and head out for lecture.

 

Coming home I walk in on a conversation between John Paul and Katy.

“You promise you’ll be there?” He asks her.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss your Dublin debut.” She exclaims.

“I go on at 8:00.” He reminds her. Katy notices my appearance.

“Ooh, Craig will come with me, won’t you, Craig?” She pleads. John Paul just glares at me over her shoulder.

I gulp down some air and look at Katy’s expectant expression. “Of course.” I answer.

“I don’t think The Dragon is really Craig’s scene.” John Paul interjects.

“He’ll be fine. I’ll keep him safe.” She promises.

“Whatever.” John Paul mumbles. “I need to get ready.” He says walking away.

“What was that all about?” Katy asks staring at the spot where John Paul is no longer standing.

“Dunno.” I answer as blankly as I can.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I need to get dressed to kill.” She says with a wink and flounces to her room.

I walk over to the kitchen to scrounge up something to eat. John Paul materializes behind me. “You don’t have to come tonight.” He says in a quiet voice.

I turn around startled by his sudden appearance.

“I want to.” I squeak out. Clearing my throat, I try again. “No, really. I want to see what you’ve got.” I declare handing down the challenge.

He shines a shy smile my way. “All right. You might be surprised.”

“I hope I am.” I say smiling in return.

“See you down there.” He says before slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading out the door.

I finally get my arse settled in a chair and attempt to take a bite of my sandwich when Katy comes flitting in. “You’re not going out like that?!” She says with disdain dripping off her words. She’s dressed to kill in a short red dress and stiletto heels.

“Geez, give me a chance to eat before you start insulting my wardrobe.” I complain.

“Fine, I’ll go pick something out for you.” She says flashing me a feral smile and wobbling over to my room.

I will never understand women and their shoes.

At last, I am alone with my sandwich. Life is good.

 

After vetoing Katy’s first three outfits for me, we agree to disagree and I end up in black jeans and a red button down shirt. She says I look hot, but I don’t really agree. Hey, at least I’m comfortable.

We make the short walk to the club and get in with no problem since 8:00 is really early in club land. The chandeliers cast sparkling lights over the small crowd. Katy gets us drinks and we spot John Paul in the DJ booth. She waves to him and he gives a slight wave back and smiles.

The music pumps and the bass line thumps. It’s hard to keep my feet still and I can kind of see that he might actually be pretty good at this whole DJing thing. Katy grabs my arm and we join the writhing bodies on the dance floor. The songs seamlessly flow together. The tracks overlap perfectly and I nod to the beat a little in awe of his talent.

We dance and I never even notice where the songs change that’s how flawlessly John Paul works the decks. Feeling parched I head over to the bar for more drinks. A nice man sitting on a barstool offers me a shot and I gladly accept his generosity. He appraises me up and down. I thank him again and return to the crowd whooping it up on the dance floor.

The next time I go to the bar, I find my eyes turning towards the booth where I know John Paul is working. The fierce look of concentration on his face distracts me. I look back towards the drinks I ordered and I notice another shot sitting on the bar. The barman indicates the man who insisted I have it. I raise it and mouth thank you to the man and down the shot quickly then grab my drinks and depart for the dance floor again.

The people sure are friendly at this place.

After dancing and drinking for awhile, Katy tells me that John Paul’s shift is almost over and I realize all the shots I drank have completely gone to my head. I stumble into her as she leads me over to the booth.

John Paul meets us.

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate, you were brilliant.” I slur while slinging my arm around his neck.

“Thanks.” He responds.

“Absolutely.” Katy agrees and pecks him on the cheek.

“Drink?” John Paul offers while gently disentangling my arm from around his neck, which throws me off balance. “Whoa.” John Paul says as I stumble and lose my footing. He grabs me under the arms. “How much has he had to drink?” He tries to discreetly ask Katy.

“’m fime… um, fine.” I try to placate them.

“He’s had as much as me.” Katy responds.

“Except for the shots.” I say trying to hold up some fingers showing the shots I downed.

“What shots?” Katy asks.

“You know, the mice nen… er, nice mem bought me some shots.” I slur.

“Craig!” Katy exclaims.

“Let’s get him home.” John Paul insists while dragging me to the door. His arm around my back leading me forward.

It feels like a long uncoordinated walk home. At last we stumble through the flat door. Katy leads the way. John Paul manages to get me through the door and into my room where he unceremoniously dumps me on the bed. I struggle to sit up properly.

“Come ‘ere.” I say in what I think is a seductive tone.

“What, Craig?” He asks exasperation tingeing his tone.

“Jusht come. Sit.” I say patting the bed.

“Fine.” He huffs and sits down on the bed facing me.

“You were really good tonight.” I say leaning in closer to him as he leans further away.

“Thank you.” He responds warily. And then I lean in all the way and I connect my lips with his. He pushes me off with a sad smile on his face. I flop on the bed landing on my back. I sense him standing up and my eyes slide shut. The blackness engulfs me and I lose consciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

The light penetrates my eyelids and I grab my head that is throbbing in agony. Why do I do this to myself all the time? When will I learn to say no when someone offers me a drink?

I need some coffee is the only thought going through my head. Then I need to get out of my rank clothes and thank fuck I don't have any classes today or else I'd be really screwed.

I hear hushed voices coming from the living room. The door to my room is slightly open and I concentrate on listening in.

"...and so the evil step sisters told the prince he needed to kiss a frog in order to find true love." I hear John Paul's baritone relating a tale. "So the prince spent his time hanging around the pond stalking the frogs, catching them and kissing them. The evil step sisters laughed when he would return to the palace each evening covered in mud and grass stains.

"This went on for several months and the weather got colder. Until one day, the prince kissed a frog that turned into a handsome prince. His evil step sisters were so jealous when he brought the prince home for dinner that evening. They thought their prank was just that and never thought the prince would ever find true love."

"And then what happened?"

"The handsome princes had naughty monkey sex on every surface of the palace while the evil step sisters languished in their frigidity."

"John Paul!" Katy exclaims laughing.

"It's what happened though, but then they had a civil partnership and lived happily ever after." He adds on. Katy's laugh is a high tinkling sound that sears through my skull eliciting a groan from me.

"I think you woke it." John Paul says teasingly.

"Craig." Katy calls.

"Urrrrr." I moan.

"It stirs." He whispers.

"Good to know you're alive." Katy responds.

"There's coffee." John Paul offers.

"Cheers." I weakly respond peeling myself out of the bed and stumbling to the doorway. They both look at me.

"You look like shit." John Paul so eloquently tells me.

"Cheers again." I croak out.

I walk unsteadily to the kitchen and find a mug full of coffee all ready to go on the worktop for me. I take a big gulp then sputter at the kick.

'What the...?"

"I added a shot of whiskey for you." John Paul says coming up behind me.

"Oh wow... thank you" I say a little overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness.

"No problem." He responds opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. "You might need this too. Replenish the fluids and all that."

"Th-thanks." I sit at the table trying to figure this John Paul out. Where's the annoying tosser who was drinking all my milk and hogging the shower? Katy plops down in the chair across from me.

"So, uh, are you both going to be here Sunday night?" John Paul asks fidgeting nervously near the sink in the tiny kitchen.

I look at Katy, she shrugs. "Yeah, I suppose." She responds.

"Yeah, I don't have any plans." I say.

"Good... I wanted to make you dinner to thank you for giving me a place to stay." He quickly explains.

"What?! Where are you going?" Katy exclaims.

"Well, the DJ I'm replacing at The Dragon is letting me sublet her flat and I'll be moving out Monday." He clarifies.

"John Paul..." Katy whines. "You know you don't have to do that."

"No, no. I really have been here too long taking up your space. Let me just do this one thing to thank you both and I can go on my merry way." He says with a false sense of cheeriness.

"Please don't go." Katy pleads.

"We'll still see each other loads." He promises her. "I really need to do this though."

"Craig?" Katy turns to me. I look at her and she makes a gesture urging me to say something.

"Yeah, mate, we love having you here. You don't have to go." I say and somehow I think I mean it. But John Paul just snorts. I'm sure he's playing all of our run ins through his head and thinking I may not be too sincere. "No, really. It's nice having someone normal to talk to." I add on and that's when Katy smacks me in the shoulder.

"Thanks for that, but if it's all the same, I think I'd be better off just leaving." He says smiling a little sadly at us.

"B-but..." Katy tries to disagree.

"No buts, Katy. I've overstayed my welcome and need to be on my own." John Paul tells her. "It's better this way." He says chancing a glance in my direction. I lean my head down on the table as a barrage of images hits me full force from last night. The men in the bar buying me drinks flash by first. They weren't being nice, they were trying it on with me. Then John Paul propping me up as I stumbled home. And the piece de resistance... me kissing John Paul before I passed out. What does it all mean?!

"Are you okay?" Katy asks gripping my arm.

I raise my head slightly. "Yeah. Just a little lightheaded. I think I'm gonna go lie down." I respond escaping the room as quickly as I can.

 

I mull things over and chalk it up to being drunk and a little out of control. I know, it's a total cop out, but my brain is in no condition to be thinking heavy thoughts. I must fall asleep because when I look at the clock again, a few hours have gone by. My stomach rumbles reminding me that I haven't eaten yet today.

I grab a sandwich and decide to just plop myself down on the couch and listen to music. I don't even notice when John Paul joins me.

We sit in silence listening to the radio:

 _Did you write the book of love,  
And do you have faith in God above,  
If the Bible tells you so?_

John Paul switches the station:

 _I run for the bus, dear,  
While riding I think of us, dear,  
I say a little prayer for you._

"Ugh." He mutters, switching the station again:

 _All I do each night is pray  
Hoping that I'll be a part of you again someday_

"Rubbish" and more channel changing:

 _When you call my name it's like a little prayer  
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there  
In the midnight hour I can feel your power  
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there_

"Ergh." He exclaims pressing the tuner button again:

 _Don't say a prayer for me now,  
Save it 'til the morning after  
No, don't say a prayer for me now  
Save it 'til the morning after_

"Ahhhhh." He sounds frustrated now:

 _Lord knows to my suprise:  
The only one who could ever reach me,  
Was the son of a preacher man,_

"Oh, that is it!" He jumps up, grabs his jacket and runs through the door. I stare at the closed door. What the hell was that about? It takes me about 10 seconds before I jump up and follow him out.


	6. Chapter 6

I chase him down the street, calling his name, "John..." Fuck, he's fast. "John... John Paul!" I finally catch him at the corner.

"What?!" He exclaims exasperated as I fall into step beside him.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"For a walk." He responds tersely. We turn into the local park and after a few minutes of walking I lead him to a bench. He sits down hunched over, elbows on his knees.

"Listen, John Paul, I know whatever happened you don't want to talk about it, but if I tell you a humiliating story about me then maybe you can think about telling me a story about you?" I offer.

"I'll think about it." He says.

"Okay, I'm gonna share something with you. I have not spoken of this day since it happened... But we never speak about this ever again. Agreed."

He nods his response.

"All right, picture a 13 year old boy waking up in the morning and realizing that his entire family has forgotten his birthday." I set the story for him.

"I'm so..." He starts to say.

"Please don't interrupt. Well, this boy sucks it up and makes it through the whole day at school. The whole while holding back his tears because all his friends at school had forgotten his birthday too. Finally, he comes home to an empty quiet house and decides if no one else is gonna give me a gift, why not just give myself one? So I grab one of my sister's magazines, find my chair, drop my pants and begin to unwrap my present. That's when I got my real surprise..." I pause for dramatic effect here noticing that John Paul is listening intently.

"All my friends and my family pop out to yell, 'Surprise!'... I thought it was the worst day of my life... but it gets worse..." I continue.

"What? How could it get worse?" He asks incredulously.

"I couldn't stop." I say hiding my face in my hands.

"What do you mean... couldn't stop?" John Paul asks stunned.

"Evel Knieval was at the bottom of the ramp, the bike was at a full run, there was no place to go except over the canyon." I pause again. "And, you know, I went over the canyon."

"Oh my God." He stares at me and I can feel the flames licking at my face as my remembered embarrassment comes flooding back. And then he bursts out laughing. "What is Evel Knieval?" He asks between his guffaws.

"That's what you focus on?" I ask astounded. "He was a daredevil who jumped motorcycles over crazy things. You know, once you're at full throttle, you can't stop."

"And so you had an orgasm in front of a room full of people?" He asks.

"Yup. And that is the end of that subject. Never to be mentioned again." I say making sure he understands I'm serious.

John Paul wipes the tears from his eyes. "I promise to never mention it again." A quick clearing of his throat and then he gets sent off into another fit of giggles.

I wait patiently for him to get himself under control. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. But come on... oh that's right, you already did."

"Hey, you are not allowed to mention it again." I exclaim affronted.

"So-sorry." He says while laughing again.

"I hate you." I say.

"Uh huh." He agrees.

"So." I urge.

"So what?" He plays evasive.

"So what made you so angry with the radio that you ran out of the flat like that?" I go for the most obvious thing I can think of.

"Oh, geez that." He waves it off.

"Yeah that." I remind him.

"I hate crappy music like that." He avoids.

"John Paul." I say in a warning tone.

"All right. But this is to never be mentioned again." He repeats my words from earlier.

I nod my agreement.

"Where do I start?" He muses to himself. Turning slightly on the bench to face me he spins his tale of woe.

"I was, um, seeing this guy... more than seeing. It was pretty serious." He begins. I nod encouragingly. "Yeah, so he was kind of not available for dating."

"Like he was married?" I interrupt.

"Please don't interrupt." Again repeating me. "No, he wasn't married. But, uh... we were pretty close. Practically living together, but it was difficult, you know. We couldn't go out together. We could be friends, but anything else was taboo. It was... difficult having to restrain myself, lying all the time to my friends and my family."

"But I thought it was worth it. Things were great between us. We got along well together. We became friends first and then it turned into more. I don't even remember how it all began... it was pretty sudden. One day we were hanging out and it seemed like the next we were kissing..." He trails off. I watch as he shakes his head to clear the stray thoughts. I want to reach out to him, but am pretty sure he wouldn't want that.

"But I guess I was the only one who thought it was worth it." He says sadly studying his hands. He stops again and I have to restrain myself from pushing him to go on.

"Anyway, someone found out about us and proceeded to out our relationship to the whole village." He pauses at this point. "I think that's what hurt the most. The person who was supposed to always have my back betrayed me like that. And then when the shit hit the fan, he was given a choice and he didn't choose me." He says the last bit turning his head away from me.

"John Paul..." I say, but he holds up his hand to stop me. I give him a moment to collect himself a bit placing my hand on his shoulder. I watch as the sun filters through the leaves having a dappling effect on his hair. Illuminating certain parts and leaving others in the dark.

"Sorry. It still hurts a bit. I suppose he's the sorry one now as he's probably stuck in some dead end, middle of no where parish where he's learning how to control his urges and keep his hands to himself." John Paul adds with a sharp bite of laughter.

"What?!" I exclaim loudly.

A slight chuckle from John Paul, "Yeah, he was a priest. Probably still is."

"And the person who outed you?"

"My mum."

"What?!" I really need to stop repeating myself.

"Yep, she made a very loud proclamation in front of the whole congregation during mass the Sunday she found out. And you know how gossip spreads through a tiny village like Hollyoaks. I barely had time to run home and pack before the villagers were on the doorstep with their pitchforks and torches."


	7. Chapter 7

After making our way back from the park, John Paul heads out for work and I find myself at a loose end, so I actually do some work for uni. My final project is due in one course and with final exams in my other courses looming on the horizon, now would be the time to buckle down and get some studying done. I think I fall asleep because the next thing I remember is waking up and peeling my face off my Marketing Management textbook.

Deciding a shower would help immensely since sleeping in my clothes has made me feel completely dreadful and gross.

I pass through the sitting room noticing John Paul snoring on the pull out in just his boxers again. No wonder the priest couldn't resist.

I turn the shower on as hot as I can stand it and try to scrub the scummy feeling off my skin. I feel my muscles loosen up under the pounding spray of the water while I rinse the suds off. I'm startled when I hear the door open.

"Oi! John Paul!" I shout.

"Hmm?" He answers sleepily.

"I'm taking a shower here!" I shout through the curtain.

"Sorry, had to pee." He mumbles back at me.

"But the door was locked." I retort knowing full well that I locked the door after me this morning. Following some unfortunate misunderstandings between Katy and I at the beginning of our flat sharing, I've learned that a locked door is the only way to have privacy in the bathroom.

"I... uh, got it open. Sorry, mate, it was an emergency." John Paul quickly explains.

"Yeah, whatever." I say conceding defeat. I'm just about to turn the water off when I hear the toilet flush and a rush of scalding hot water rushes over me. "Argh!" I shout.

"Oh shit!" I hear as I scramble to get the water turned off. I grab my towel and race off after John Paul who has almost left a cartoon trail in his haste to exit the bathroom. I race down the hall where I find him struggling into a pair of jeans. He's off balance so I run at him full tilt and knock him flat on his back using my shoulder. I straddle his hips while trying to hold onto my towel. Pinning his arms to his sides, I press my weight down to keep him from throwing me off.

"What the hell was that for?!" I shout at him.

"Ge'off." He struggles, his face turning red from the strain.

"Don't you know what a locked door means?" I shout at him. I watch his chest heave as he tries to catch his breath. Some drops of water from my still wet hair drip onto his chest and settle into the hollow between his pecs.

"GET OFF!" He shouts straining the cords in his neck.

"No. Answer me. How'd you get in?" I relax my voice, but not my grip as I press down harder on him. I can feel his legs flailing behind me, but he isn’t able to push me off since he can’t get the leverage he needs.

"I've got skills." He answers cockily.

"Picking locks?" I ask suddenly interested in his explanation.

"Pfft, oh please, that lock is nothing." He says while rolling his eyes. I sit and watch him for a moment thinking about my next question when the door opens and we both look up. Katy walks in with her new boyfriend, whatever his name is. She doesn't look surprised to see us both half naked in the sitting room with me straddling John Paul.

"Are we interrupting?" She greets us grinning.

"Nope. Nothing going on here." John Paul responds nonchalantly.

"Mark, this is Craig... in the towel and John Paul... on his back." Katy introduces us, which seems to cause Mark to blanch a very unflattering shade of white.

"Pleased to meet you." John Paul says. I turn my head back towards John Paul looking at him incredulously.

"Y-yeah, nice to meet you too." Mark quickly recovers and almost reaches out to extend his hand, but then awkwardly withdraws when he realizes John Paul’s hands are pinned to the floor. So Mark raises his arm up and runs his hand through his hair and then drops his arm.

"So... uh, what is going on here?" Katy asks her eyes searching each of our faces.

"Nothing." John Paul replies giving her a wink.

"So, Craig, why don't you just kiss him already?" Katy so helpfully adds.

"Oh... oh...no way." I stutter, then release John Paul’s arms. There is a sudden whoosh as my heart rate increases and I panic. I grip my towel and get to my feet then beat a hasty retreat to my room.

On autopilot, I grab some clothes and throw them on. I pace around the room feeling like it’s getting smaller, but too afraid to leave. I finally throw myself on the bed and curl into a fetal position wrapping my arms around myself.

My brain runs on overdrive. What did Katy mean by that? Why would she say something like that? I can’t think… I run my hands through my hair like that's going to straighten out my errant thoughts.

I’m not attracted to John Paul. He’s a man… and so am I. That just doesn’t make sense. Katy was just teasing us. She didn’t mean anything by it. Yeah, there’s nothing there. I mean he’s an all right bloke sometimes when he’s not being a complete pain in the arse. And he seems to have a sense of humor and can be pretty cool at times.

I feel kind of bad for him in a way, you know, with his problems back home. And his eyes are a nice shade of blue. And he seems pretty masterful when he’s at work. And there’s the way his body felt under mine. He was powerful and his skin was so soft.

What am I thinking?

A soft knock lands on the door, “Craig.” I hear John Paul call me.

I roll over onto my other side and ignore the door.

An eerie silence falls over the flat where before I could hear their voices talking outside the door.

A last thought before I decide to reopen the books, why didn’t he try to pick the lock on my door?


	8. Chapter 8

I’m not exactly hiding in my room. I do have some serious exams coming up. Things have been a bit awkward between me and John Paul since the wrestling match yesterday.

I’m revising for finals… God, I hate that word ‘final’ it sounds so… well final. I’ve fallen into the gray haze where the words are starting to blur together on the page. There is a delicious aroma wafting under my door. I can almost see the vapors beckoning to me and my stomach makes a very loud grumble.

Curiosity overtakes me and I stretch my stiff muscles as I rise from my desk. I follow the scent to the kitchen where I am greeted by the sight of John Paul chopping vegetables at the worktop.

“I know this looks bad, but I promise you won’t even know I’ve been here. It’s uh honey glazed chicken. Well, it’s supposed to be. Things have gone a bit wrong.” John Paul explains. I lean over and open the oven.

“Mashed potatoes in an oven.” I muse wonderingly.

“Yeah, it’s potato dauphinoise. It’s French. I went to the Myra McQueen school of cooking. What you do is you just put stuff in the oven and when it starts to smolder, it’s done.” He clarifies with a wistful expression upon mentioning his mum.

“Well, lucky for you, I happen to have skills with kitchen knives, so…” I offer.

“What? You’ll help?” He asks incredulously.

“Yeah.” I answer, then, “Crap.” I say as my phone starts ringing. I look at the display and it’s my mum. I guess I can’t avoid her forever. “Mum.” I answer.

“Craig. Finally.” She responds.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve been busy. Got finals coming up.” I answer rolling my eyes at John Paul who gives chuckle. He turns back to his vegetables.

“It’s been weeks. You couldn’t ring back?” She complains down the line.

“Mum.” I whine at her.

“Anyway. Have you been eating? Taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep?” She asks all in one breath.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m healthy, been eating and sleeping, just busy.” I answer rolling my eyes again.

“You’ve missed all the recent gossip.” She gushes.

“Ugh.” I respond not really caring what’s going on in the small village where everyone knows everyone else’s business.

“Don’t you want to know?” Mum asks sounding hurt that I don’t want to hear the rumors that rule the villagers’ lives.

“No, but you’re gonna tell me anyway.” I say heaving a sigh.

“Well, I was in church a few weeks ago…” She begins.

“What were you doing in church?” I ask and I catch John Paul turn towards me at that word.

“Sh, don’t interrupt. Besides the new priest was pretty fit.” She answers cheekily.

“MUM!” I shout scandalized.

“Oh grow up. Anyway, Myra McQueen gets up and announces to the whole congregation how the priest has been copping off with her son.” She says smugly.

“Oh my God!” Is the only response I can muster and seemingly apropos of the situation.

“Scandalous, right? And then he disappears without a word to anyone. The McQueens have been… oh no, she’s heading over here.” Mum starts to whisper.

“Who’s heading over?” I ask.

“Sh,” she admonishes me. “Myra McQueen.” She whispers.

“She can’t hear me.” I answer in a normal tone. “No one knows where he went?” I ask glancing at John Paul who has lost interest in the conversation and has turned back to continue slicing the vegetables.

“Nope. She said he text one of her daughters that he’s okay. But no one has heard from him since.”

“Oi!” I hear in the background and then some mumbling.

“I’m speaking to my son. Not that it’s any of your business.” Mum says annoyed.

“It is my business when you’re talking about my family!” I can hear Myra shouting at mum. I look over at John Paul again. And his attention is fully on me now. I close my eyes as I listen to the two of them argue at the pub on the other side of the Irish Sea.

“Mum! MUM!” I shout into the phone. John Paul is wildly gesturing at me like what the hell is going on? There’s a moment of phone fumbling and a shrill voice greets me.

“This is Myra McQueen, who’s this?” Mrs. McQueen demands.

“Hi Mrs. McQueen, I’m Craig Dean.” I greet her and John Paul’s eyes widen comically as he backs away from me. I vaguely hear the sound of the knife as it clatters on the worktop where John Paul’s dropped it.

“Do you know where my son is?” She asks with a waver of fear yet hopefulness in her voice.

“Yeah, and he’s fine.” I say flicking my eyes to John Paul who has pressed himself into the far side of the kitchen like he’s trying to disappear into the cupboards. Now he’s shaking his head violently and holding his hands out in a denial gesture.

“Oh my God.” She breathes into the phone. “Oh my God.” She repeats. “Where is he?” She commands tone of voice changing from relieved to angry. “I want to speak with him.” Her voice changes to needy.

I swallow thickly looking at John Paul who has wrapped his arms defensively around himself.

“I, uh, can’t say right now. Hold on a moment. Let me find out.” I answer her.

I walk over to John Paul, “Come on. Take the phone.” I say quietly standing in front of him where he has no escape. He shakes his head. “Just let her know you’re okay. She’s worried about you.”

He takes a deep breath and nods slightly, so I hand him the phone. “Mum?” I can hear her voice squeaking through the phone, but can’t make out the words. “I’m fine.” He answers her. I watch the play of emotions on his face. From scared to relieved to sad.

“I’m not coming home.” He says adamantly. I watch him listening to her.

“I like it here. My friends are here.” He says looking at me.

I smile back at him. “I got a job and am moving into my own flat tomorrow. I’m not going back to Hollyoaks.” He says and hands the phone back to me then walks out of the room.

“Mrs. McQueen?” I interrupt her as she must have been in the middle of a sentence when he walked away.

“Craig?” She asks sounding confused.

“Yeah, he’s not going back.” I explain gently.

“I see.” She says stoically.

“Maybe I can get him to visit with me over the summer.” I offer to ease her pain.

“Thank you, Craig. Keep an eye on him, please.” She says sniffing slightly into the phone.

“You’re welcome. And I will.” I promise.

“Bye.” She says sadly.

“Bye.” I click the off key and then set off to search for John Paul. I find him locked in the bathroom. I knock softly on the door. “John Paul.”

“Go away.” Is the response I get and a sniff.

“Come on, talk to me.” I hear the water running and then stop. The door clicks open and he’s standing there looking a little red in the face, eyes a little puffy.

“Come on, dinner’s not gonna cook itself.” He says grabbing my sleeve and pulling me back to the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” I ask plopping down in the chair. John Paul throws the vegetables in a pot on the stove.

“Yeah.” He responds then a deep breath, “thank you.” He says while checking the food in the oven, his back towards me.

“Huh?” I ask confused by his turn around.

“For making me talk to her. I feel better now.” He explains.

We both turn as the front door opens and Katy sweeps in. “Hello boys! So what did I miss?”

“Nothing.” John Paul answers winking at me.

“Yup, nothing at all.” I respond smiling.

“You’re just in time for dinner. Set the table like a good girl, won’t you?” John Paul tells her.

“Fine. Just because I love you.” She huffs her response while opening the cupboards to get the dishes and handing them to me. We set the table while John Paul puts the finishing touches on our dinner.

John Paul serves us a wonderful meal. We talk and laugh and reminisce about our time together. It’s somewhat melancholy when I think this is the last time we’re going to be able to do this together. We all pitch in to help clean up. And in no time at all, we sit together and watch telly just enjoying our last night together.


	9. Chapter 9

So that’s it. The next morning John Paul gathers his meager belongings and says good bye to us.

“Bye, sweetheart.” He says to Katy drawing her into a big hug. Katy stifles a sniffle.

“Bye. Promise me you’ll visit.” She replies pulling away and wiping a tear from her eye.

“I promise.” He replies. “Craig,” John Paul says turning towards. “Bye, mate. Thanks for putting up with me.” He awkwardly moves forward and I pull him into a fierce hug gripping his shirt for dear life.

“No worries. Don’t be a stranger.” I reply into his shoulder. We pull apart. He gives us one more smile and walks out the door. Once the door shuts behind him Katy retreats to her room sobbing while I stand and watch the closed door feeling like a very important chapter in my life just ended. I just shake my head at my silliness.

It’s going to be a hell of a week and I need to get everything sorted for my exams and my final presentation is due Friday afternoon. I pack up my stuff and head out to uni to take the first of my exams. I need to concentrate and with John Paul gone, I might actually get my head together.

 

The week blurs by in a massive whirl of revising and exams. My eyes are gritty from the strain of reading and concentrating. Friday finally rolls around and my final presentation is scheduled for mid-afternoon.

I’ll admit I’m a nervous wreck. The flat has been so quiet. Katy is gone half the time with her boyfriend. I’ve been so busy with studying and finals that I haven’t had time to think about John Paul although his absence has been on my mind all week.

I thought I’d feel relieved with him gone. I thought, finally, my life will be restored to the way it was before I found him sleeping on the pull out. But oddly enough I miss him. It was nice having someone around to talk to or play video games with or to make the coffee in the morning. Katy is crap at all those things and she’s hardly here anymore anyway.

I throw all my materials in my bag for my presentation. Laptop, handouts, props. I’ve practiced over and over and yet still feel unprepared. Oh well, nothing for it now. I still have hours to go, but I can’t sit around the empty flat worrying and pacing the floors.

Locking the door behind me, I take a leisurely walk around town making my way to the university. I stop about halfway there… is that John Paul? I see two men standing in front of a cafe having a chat. The dark haired man turns to leave and the blonde turns and I see it is John Paul.

“Craig.” He greets me as I approach.

“John Paul.” I say smiling easily in his direction. “Who was that?” I inquire nodding in the direction of the retreating man.

“Just my neighbor across the hall.” He responds.

“You live here?” I ask.

“Yeah, just upstairs. I came down for some coffee. It’s nice being able to just walk downstairs to get one.” He explains.

“Oh.” I stupidly respond.

“You wanna come up?” He asks.

“Yeah… sure.” I respond curiosity taking over.

I follow him upstairs to his flat and he unlocks the door. I am stunned by the interior. It’s small, but cozy. Mainly one room that’s the sitting room and a small kitchen. The color scheme is earth tones with splashes of burnt orange throughout.

“This is really nice.” I say taking the time to survey the small space.

“Well, it’s all Coco’s stuff. Just temporary until she comes back from Ibiza.” He explains. “Have a seat.” He offers indicating the couch.

I drop my bag and sit down, still ogling the décor. It really is very homey.

“So, uh, what are you doing out and about today?” John Paul asks taking a seat in the armchair.

“I was just headed in to uni for my final presentation.” I explain gesturing to the bag.

“Yeah. You ready for it?” He asks interested.

“As ready as I’m gonna get. You want to see it?” I offer hoping his interest is more than feigned.

“Sure, go on then.” He encourages me.

I pull out my laptop and materials. Fire up the PowerPoint and get started.

Halfway through the first slide, John Paul interrupts. “You need some music or something.” He offers.

“What?” I ask taken a little aback. Is he criticizing my work?

“Yeah, you need something to back it all up. I have just the thing. How long is the presentation?” He asks.

“About 10 minutes.” I reply automatically.

“Perfect, wait right here. I’ll go find it.” He says jumping up.

“Find… what?” I start to ask, but he’s already left the room. Now, I’m fuming. How dare he suggest the presentation needs ‘something’? I let my irate thoughts run away when he quickly returns with a disc.

“Here, pop this in and play it quietly in the background.” He suggests.

“Fine.” I mutter snatching the disc from him. I pop it in and play it, wondrous violin and piano accompaniment emerges from the speakers. And Goddamn it, he’s right. It does add something.

“Is that what you’re going to wear?” He asks surveying my attire.

“Yeah… why?” I ask suspiciously.

“I just thought you might want to wear something a little more powerful than jeans and a polo shirt.” He offhandedly suggests.

“Like what?” I ask getting narked off that he’s condemning my choice of clothing.

“Oooh! I got the perfect thing.” He says hopping to his feet again. “Come on.” He insists grabbing my hand and pulling me into the bedroom. “See, Coco left suddenly because she broke up with her boyfriend. He was cheating on her with another man. So he moved out and fortunately, he left some of his clothes behind.” John Paul explains sifting through the wardrobe.

“I know it’s here somewhere.” He muses flipping through the fairly large closet. “A-ha! Perfect.” He pulls out a black suit. “Here, try this on. Let me find a shirt.” He says shoving the suit into my hands. More sifting ensues and he comes out with a white shirt. “Thank God for men with short attention spans.”

“What?” I ask standing there stunned with a suit in my hands.

“You know, for forgetting to take the suit. Go on, try it on.” He gestures to me.

“I… uh.” I don’t know what to say.

“Oh for fuck’s sake go in the loo. It’s right there.” He huffs at me. That kind of snaps me out of my reverie.

“What?”

“You obviously aren’t comfortable changing in front of me. So go in the bathroom.” He enunciates the last sentence slowly.

“Uh.”

“Just go.” He turns me and shoves me in the direction of the bathroom.

“Wait.” I say turning around to face him.

“What?” He demands hands on hips.

“I’m not uncomfortable. I’m confused. Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because you’re letting me.” He answers sincerely.

And I guess that’s enough. I shrug out of my shirt and take the button down that he offers. I get it buttoned up and go to kick off my trainers.

“Shoes.” He says snapping his fingers. “And a belt. Can’t wear a suit without a belt.” And the next thing I know, he’s back in the closet, pun not intended.

I get the suit on turning to face the full length mirror on the wall. I can see John Paul behind me with a shocked look on his face. My eyes meet his in the mirror.

“Shoes.” He says weakly holding up a pair of black leather wingtips. I turn to take them from him. “You look good.” He says swallowing thickly.

“Thanks.” I say and offer a weak smile. I get the shoes on and turn back to the mirror. “Should I wear a tie?”

John Paul looks at me appraisingly. “Nope. This is fine. A tie would be overkill. Just leave this button open.” He says reaching over to pop the top button on the shirt. “Now let’s do something with that hair.”

“Oi! What’s wrong with my hair?” I demand.

“It just needs a little something.” He responds. “Come on.” He says dragging me to the bathroom.

I sit on the closed toilet and he spritzes spray gel in my hair. Then runs his fingers through it. “You should let it grow out a bit.” He requests.

“It used to be longer.” I reply enjoying the feeling of his fingers on my scalp.

“I’d like to see that.” He says.

“I have some photos…. But they’re in Hollyoaks.” I explain.

“Oh well.” He says dismissing that.

“We could always go visit.” I offer.

“Maybe you can, but I can’t.” He says then tucks a few out of place strands into place. “Perfect.” He declares.

I stand up to look in the mirror. Damn, I look good.

“You can. You just don’t want to.” I answer tenaciously.

“Listen, I don’t want to get into this now. Don’t you have a presentation to get to?” He asks quickly dismissing me. I check my watch.

“Shit! Yeah, I got to go if I plan to make it on time. But this is not over.” I state.

He just nods his response and watches me with sad eyes as I gather my stuff to leave.

“Thanks… you know, for this.” I offer.

“Good luck.” John Paul answers walking me to the door. “You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.” I respond. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later.” He says and closes the door.

That was weird, I think as I walk to uni and my final presentation. Then I’ll be free for the summer. I feel good. I look good and my confidence has skyrocketed, but the feeling that there’s still something going on with John Paul is still there.


	10. Chapter 10

I breezed right through my presentation. John Paul’s music background was inspired and I got a lot of raves on it. Grades will be posted next week and my fingers are crossed.

I hurry back to John Paul’s flat to change out of the suit. I can’t wait to tell him how it went. Knocking on the door, I hear a loud crash and some swearing.

“All right. All right. I’m coming.” John Paul says and the door flings open. “Craig.” He sounds surprised.

“Hey.” I greet him.

“How did it go?” He asks immediately.

“Can I come in?” I ask suddenly nervous.

“Of course.” He answers stepping aside.

“What, uh, what were you doing?” I ask wondering where the crashing sound came from.

“I think I was watching a movie, but may have fallen asleep.” He explains smoothing out his wrinkled clothing.

“Oh, you’ve got a little… something…” I say indicating some drool collected in the corner of his mouth. I reach my hand out to wipe it off, “…right there.” John Paul steps back quickly like he’s been shocked.

“Oh… uh, thanks.” He stammers then waves me through into the sitting room. I drop my bag and fall onto the couch.

“I, uh…” I start and run my hands through my hair. Fuck

John Paul just watches me come unglued. “Do you want a beer?” He graciously offers.

“Cheers.” I answer not sure what I’m doing now that I’m back with him again. I watch him head into the kitchenette and lean into the fridge. He comes back with two bottles offering me one.

“Cheers.” I respond popping the top and taking a long drag off the bottle. I need this. It’s been a crazy fucked up week. I need to talk to him about everything. I think it’s time I told him. “You know, when I kissed you.” I begin staring intently at the bottle clutched in my hand studying the contour and shape. I know he’s looking at me, seeing me.

“Oh…” is his response. I’m pretty sure that’s not what he was expecting me to say. I can feel the mood shift in the room. “I thought you forgot since you were so drunk.” He says shifting uncomfortably in the chair he chose to sit in.

“I – I did, at first. But how could I forget?” I say watching a drop of condensation run down the bottle. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Why did you push me away?” I ask finally looking him in the eyes.

“What would you have me do?” He blurts out staring me down. “You were really drunk. Did you think I would take advantage of you?” He sounds angry.

We seem to be having a staring contest until I have to tear my eyes away.

“You… you rejected me.” I respond in a small voice.

“And it took everything I had to do that.” John Paul practically whispers.

“I remember it all.” I tell him.

“Craig…” He starts to protest.

“No.” I interrupt him, rubbing the back of my neck trying to find the right words. Anything to put my confused thoughts into some coherent order. I suddenly stand up and start pacing. “I can’t stop thinking about you… about this… about what we’ve been doing. I…” I stop talking as quickly as I started turn to John Paul who has a stunned look on his face. I need to get out of here. I swiftly head to the door, run out of the flat and make my way home as fast as possible.


	11. Chapter 11

I come tearing through the door to find Katy and Mark on the couch watching TV.

“Craig.” Katy greets me. I ignore her and slam into my room not even pretending that I’m not a complete mess.

I rip off the suit and change into jogging bottoms and a tee shirt, then I realize my trainers are still at John Paul’s. Fuckety fuck fuck. I think as I crawl into bed. How have I managed to completely fuck EVERYTHING up?

I don’t lie there long before I hear someone knocking on the door. Muffled voices and finally a knock on my door. Crap. He’s found me. I ignore it.

“Craig.” I hear John Paul calling through the door.

Nope, I am not moving. I can’t face him now. My head is all over the place. Why did I tell him that?

The doorknob jiggles, but I locked it behind me. And then a loud click as he pops the lock and cautiously opens the door. I sit up quickly preparing to deny everything.

He sits down across from me on the bed.

“What do you mean?” He asks piercing through me with his blue eyes.

“I… I don’t know.” I ineptly confess rubbing the back of my neck.

“You… you said you can’t stop thinking about me. What do you mean? Do you mean you think I’m a mess and you pity me can’t stop thinking about me? Or that…” He takes a deep breath and I see hope dazzling in his eyes, “… you want me can’t stop thinking about me?”

I’m pinned by his gaze. I want to get up and run away, but this is exactly what the last few weeks have been leading up to. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s only been gone a week and I miss him. I miss him taking up space on my couch, drinking my milk, eating my food, hogging the bathroom.

I reach out to touch him, grasping the edge of his jacket.

“Craig…” He whispers almost sounding like a plea. “Don’t…” He warns.

“I want you.” I say fingers trembling as I try to pull him closer.

“You’re sure?” He asks me a slight wobble in his voice.

I simply nod my head and crash my mouth into his. He let’s out a small gasp and my eyes shutter closed as I try to pull him closer and his hands grasp onto my hips. Our tongues tangle together and I press further into him trying to deepen the kiss. He gives up control and let’s me take over.

I struggle to pull his jacket off. After weeks of seeing his skin, I now have an overwhelming desire to touch it. Our lips separate and I reverently pull off his jacket and shirt seeing the skin that’s been haunting me again. I tentatively touch him as he moves to flip my shirt over my head and carelessly discarding it on the floor.

His hands run over my chest and I sink into the touch relishing the smooth dexterity of his fingers. His touch sends tingles and shockwaves throughout my body. My cock jumps to attention at the sheer eroticism of his hands moving over my skin.

I flick my gaze from his eyes to his mouth and back again until I give in and kiss him again. This time it’s a slow agonizing kiss. My hands land on his shoulders pulling John Paul closer to me. Our tongues tangle lazily over and over. His hands are doing wicked things to my body as my hands slide up and into his hair gripping and holding him in place.

John Paul’s right hand slips into my jogging bottoms as he teases the skin there. He pushes me onto my back never breaking the kiss. I run my hands up the translucent skin of his back relishing the play of his muscles as they move under his skin.

Slowly undressing me of my remaining clothes, his hand grips my arse drawing me close to him. I must brush over his erection as he releases a loud groan breaking the kiss. He unbuttons his jeans and makes quick work of them. With no barriers to separate our skin, we slide together deliciously. John Paul peppers small kisses across my chin, down my neck and along my chest. I throw my head back and moan at all the sensations he has awakened in me.

He stops his ministrations and comes back up to recapture my lips. I let him do whatever he wants to me. My hands come to rest on the back of his head and grip onto his shoulder. He pulls me back into a sitting position, our lips and tongues continuously entwine. I sit between his legs. His thighs rest on top of mine. Our hands explore the smooth skin presented to us.

John Paul breaks the kiss again lowering his head drawing my left nipple into his mouth. He grips both of our erections in his hand and it’s all I can do to hold on. I grip his shoulders desperate for release. His hand expertly strokes our hard cocks together. I pull him even closer my arms wrap around his back. I can feel my orgasm rushing through me and cry out digging my nails into his back.

John Paul cums soon after and we hold each other riding the wave of bliss.

"I've been waiting a long time for that." He says to me. I just smile a response to him with a relieved sigh.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV switch

I’m nervous. I’m trying not to appear nervous. I’ve got my bowl of cereal and am watching Tom and Jerry, but inside I’m a complete roiling wreck.

Craig comes out of the bedroom, hands on hips as he glares at me. “What are you doing?” He snaps at me.

“Having some brekkie.” I answer calmly.

“We’re gonna be late.” He complains. “And you’re still in your boxers.”

“And you love it.” I respond cheekily. “We’ve got plenty of time. Go have a cuppa.” I suggest.

“Fine.” He huffs and stomps out of the room. I’d say flounce, but Craig Dean doesn’t flounce. He does smoldering angry very well though as I watch his backside disappear into the kitchen. “John Paul!” He shouts clearly angry now. “There’s no more milk… and,” he appears in the doorway, “the empty carton was in the refrigerator.” He comments while shaking the empty container.

“Oops.” I say and try to smile.

“You are infuriating.” Is his response and he turns back into the kitchen. I cock an eyebrow and suppress a smile. I do love an angry Craig. He’s so hot and sexy. He just radiates animal magnetism, all that raw energy. What’s not to love?

Katy swans through the front door. “Hello boys.” She greets us. “Did someone request milk?” She asks pulling out a carton from her bag.

“You’re a star.” Craig tells her.

“Oi, I’m the one who requested it.” I protest.

“Yeah, well, you better go get ready to leave. The taxi will be here soon.” Craig orders in his commanding voice.

“Fine.” I respond then head off for the shower.

I stand under the hot spray and wonder about the past few months. Summer is coming to a close and Craig heads back to school next week. I can’t believe I let him talk me into going to Hollyoaks with him. I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to deal with the staring and whispering. Craig keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine. But will it?

I shake my head at the crazy thoughts as I worry over my impending return home. I’m still a little angry with mum. I have spoken with her a few times over the summer. She’s tried apologizing, but it still really hurts. She could have come to me and not gone straight to the church. But what’s past is past.

I get dressed and find Craig huffing about the sitting room. “Finally.” He spits when he sees me come out fully dressed.

“We’ve got plenty of time still.” I answer. “Come on. Sit down for a minute.” I invite him while sitting on the sofa.

Craig sighs an anxious breath, “What’s the matter?” He asks concern tingeing his voice as he throws an arm around my back. I lean my head on his shoulder.

“I don’t want to go.” I whinge.

“It’s only for a few days.” Craig reassures me squeezing me slightly.

“No… it’s five, five days in Hollyoaks.” I whine.

“Well, when you think about it, it’s less than that.” He reasons.

“Um… it’s still Sunday through Thursday. That’s five.” I remind him.

“No, listen, we get there today and by the time we get settled in, the day is almost over… so it’s really only four days.” Craig explains.

“Don’t be daft.” I say a slight smile returning to my face.

“And so that leaves Monday,” and he uses his fingers to count the days, “Tuesday, Wednesday and then Thursday. We’re leaving early to come home, so you can make your shift at work. So really it’s only three days.”

“Fine.” I say laughing at his logic. “I’m gonna miss you.” I say with a wistful echo in my tone.

“Why?” He asks perplexed, “I’m going with you.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be at the Dog and…” I explain.

“No, I won’t. They gave my room to the foster kid. There’s no place for me to sleep. I’ll be staying with you.” Craig exclaims giddily. “I thought you knew.” He says smiling wickedly.

“Oh, but I do now.” I respond, my eyes lighting up thrilled, then I lean in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I think your taxi is here.” Katy says peering through the curtains as we hear the honking. I’d almost forgotten she was here.

“Let’s go.” Craig jumps up and grabs my hand.

“Take care. Give my love to the family. I’m gonna miss you.” Katy says hugging me.

“It’s only for a few days.” Craig complains rolling his eyes.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” She says scowling at Craig.

“Cheers.” He replies sarcastically.

“Oh come here, you.” She says drawing him in for a hug.

We make our way out to the taxi and for some reason I feel like I’m heading for my execution.

 

We make it through airport security and it seems we’re up in the air in no time. Craig whispers reassuring phrases to me over and over. In no time at all, we’re back on English soil and wandering haphazardly through John Lennon Airport.

“I told that idiot the time we were landing half a dozen times.” Craig grumbles over and over as we make our way outside to the arrivals door. He checks his mobile again, sighing frustratedly.

We’re standing curbside when a garish orange vehicle comes careening down the lane and screeches to a stop in front of us.

“About freaking time.” Craig greets the driver when he opens the passenger door.

“Oi, nice to see you too!” Darren retorts. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

I slide into the backseat trying not to draw attention to myself. Darren and Craig trade barbs and insults all the way to Hollyoaks. I barely listen, my thoughts drowning them out as I remember the last time I was here. Running away from it all.

It’s amazing how much has changed and yet nothing has at the same time. The scenery looks the same, but I think I’m the one who’s different. I’m not quite the little boy I was when I left here.

Yeah, I’m scared. Completely terrified to go back to the place of my downfall. I heft a great sigh as I turn my attention back to the car. It has gotten eerily silent and I see Craig has turned around and is watching me from the front seat.

“You okay?” He asks, brows furrowed in concern. I manage a slight nod in return. His expression doesn’t relax at all. I see Darren watching me through the rearview mirror. His eyes flick back to the road and he swerves quickly giving a nervous chuckle. The motion of the car turns Craig back around.

“Hey, eyes on the road!” He admonishes Darren and they go back to bickering the way siblings do.

I close my eyes and retreat back into my thoughts anticipating and dreading the upcoming family reunion.

Finally, what feels like forever, we pull into Hollyoaks and Darren drives us to the Dog.

“I figured you could use a drink first.” He explains sheepishly to me. “And Frankie’s been driving me mad. You best stop and see her right away.” He tells Craig.

“Cheers.” I thank him.

After the meet and greet with the Dean/Osborne clan, Craig and I have some drinks and play pool. Lining up a shot, I hear Darren and Craig talking behind me.

“Oh your boyfriend is so good at pool.” Darren says in his campest voice.

“He sure is.” Craig agrees. I look over and wink at him and Darren practically splutters.

“Wh-what?!” He asks incredulously.

“I said my boyfriend is good at pool.” Craig reiterates. I take the shot, but miss sinking a ball. I walk over to Craig, he holds out his hand and I take it.

“Oh… OH!” Darren repeats himself. “This is delicious.” He’s practically rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain.

“Oh get a grip. Who cares?” Craig asks. And Darren shockingly shuts up.

“It’s your shot.” I say handing him the cue.

And so it goes. We avoid my house for a few more hours wasting them at the pub. I found out that Craig told Mum that we weren’t getting in until late. Remind me to thank him later.

It’s finally time to face the music. We gather our bags and make our way to the McQueen household. I try to hide it, but Craig always sees right through my exterior. He squeezes my hand and doesn’t let go. Lending me support in the only way he can right now.

We get to the path up to the front door, Craig turns to me, “We can do this.” He whispers squeezing my hand again. “Let’s go.”

Before we even take a step, the front door bursts open and my family pours out pulling me into their arms as they surround us out there in the front garden. Mum erupts into tears as does Carmel. Tina offers me a sniffle while Jacqui punches me on the arm and grabs a stranglehold around my neck. Michaela and Mercedes each take their turns hugging me. Through it all, Craig holds onto my hand, never once losing contact nor letting go.

I smile as the tension of the day is dissolved by the tears of my family, the women who make up my life and who make me who I am.


	13. Chapter 13

I have to have him. He’s been the perfect boyfriend today lending support and having my back in every way possible. The second my bedroom door closes, I pounce on him drawing him into my arms. I pull his tee shirt swiftly over his head and toss it into the corner. My hands immediately seek out his arse and he throws his arms over my shoulders. Our lips clash together and he cradles the back of my head in his hands while our tongues duel in an all out battle.

I sit down on the bed pulling him between my legs. Craig grasps my hands in his pushing me down onto my back. He climbs onto the bed straddling my hips never breaking the kiss that has taken my breath away. Our erections rub together desperately as we try to get as close as we can to each other. He draws his lips away nipping lightly at my jaw and neck. His stubble brushes roughly across my skin.

His lips return to mine and he releases my hands, which automatically run up and down the taut skin of his toned back. His hands run over the top of my head and I enjoy his body covering mine. He rubs our erections together that are straining through the confines of our jeans. He pulls me back into a sitting position, lips never breaking apart.

Craig’s hands caress my neck and I grip his arse trying to pull him closer. I need to taste him, so I break the kiss and lick down his chest enjoying the flavor of Craig. I flick my tongue across his nipple suckling at the tiny nub and he pushes me onto my back again. I don’t know where my strength comes from as I lift him up. His legs instinctively wrap around me as I turn him around and switch our positions.

Craig pulls my tee shirt roughly off in between our kisses and throws it unceremoniously onto the floor. I pull his jean clad leg up gripping onto his arse as his hands stroke through my hair. Our bodies slide together and I relish the feel of his skin on mine. I pull both his hands up over his head and continue to plunder his mouth with my tongue.

I sit back and undo his jeans trying desperately to get them off as quickly as possible. I pull him to the edge of the bed and manage to slip him out of them. I immediately lean over and mouth his erection through his boxers as he falls back onto the bed hands up over his head. The delicious noises emanating from Craig’s throat spur me on. I work my way up his body and attack his mouth again. His hands grip my head keeping me in place.

Craig rolls me over and I can’t keep my hands out of his boxers gripping at that perfect ass while he plunges his tongue into my mouth over and over. I pull his boxers off as he hovers over me releasing his perfect prick right at eye level. I take him in my mouth all the way to the root as Craig balances on his arms. His body is so perfect and I have to run my hands over every inch I can reach.

Craig leans back. I grip his thighs to keep him in place sucking his cock as he holds my head in place. I release his length and he quickly leans in pushing me onto my back for another bruising kiss.

I roll him back over and I reach down behind his balls pressing at the sensitive skin there. I slide between his legs again and Craig reaches for the button on my jeans fumbling blindly while I keep his mouth occupied. He forgets the jeans and grips me around the neck pushing me back then taking teasing nips at my lips until I break his grip and force my mouth back over his again.

Pulling back I hop off the bed and properly get my jeans off. My cock is rock hard and begging for attention. Craig is laid out flat on his back. I spread his legs out gripping the backs of his thighs. Craig playfully tugs on my cock then sits up to nip at my mouth again. I pull him up onto my thighs. Pushing him down again, our mouths clash again while Craig tugs on my prick. Our bodies slide together, hands caress bare skin. His legs fit perfectly around my waist as I frot up against him.

My hand slides around to his ass. I slip a finger in while kissing him and his hands run through my hair again. The way he makes me feel and the things his body can do to me just make me into an aggressive heathen.

And then we’re kissing again. God, I can’t get enough of his kisses. His tongue should be registered as a lethal weapon. I could die happy with his tongue in my mouth.

He grips my hair teasing me again. Craig nips at my mouth and pushes me back and then drags me back down. I slide back down his body taking his length in my mouth. Craig’s head slams back onto the bed as the most guttural groan escapes from him. I pinch his nipples while sliding up and down his cock. Letting his cock fall from my mouth, I flip Craig over and push his legs up. Grabbing the lube and a condom from the bag next to the bed, I roll it on and lube up Craig’s entrance.

He lies face down on the bed and I cover his body with mine slowly breaching the tight ring of muscles. I kiss the back of his neck running my hand over his nipples and biting gently at his ear. He pulls his head up turning for another searing kiss. I thrust into his supple ass knowing that this is the nirvana I’ve been searching for. Craig moans heavily as I whisper into his ear.

I pull out and he flips over kissing me again. I slowly ease back into his body as he lazily strokes his hard erection. His hands reach up to grasp my face and he pulls me into another bruising kiss. “Oh yeah.” I moan into his mouth. He answers me with a moan as I continue to pound into his body over and over again.

Craig continues to attack my mouth controlling it with his hands on the back on my neck gripping and pulling me closer. He releases me to run his hands down my back and I bury my face in his neck breathing in the essence of Craig. His moans spur me on to thrust faster and again our mouths clash in brutal kisses.

He wraps his legs around my back as I slow my strokes down. Our arms wrap around each other while our tongues battle it out. His grip on my hair tightens and I push faster and harder into his hot tight body.

“Come on, lover.” I whisper in his ear. And he reaches between our bodies to stroke his long lovely cock throwing his head back in ecstasy.

“Yeah. Come on sexy boy.” I encourage him.

“Oh God, yeah.” He responds pumping his fist faster.

“There you go.” I urge him on.

“Oh.” A breathless moan emanates from his mouth.

Our bodies slap together, flesh on flesh in an ancient erotic dance. I pummel relentlessly into his body.

“Oh yeah.” I moan.

“Oh.” Is his answering moan.

“Yeah, baby.” I intone before kissing him again.

“Oh. Unh. Oh” He cries as his orgasm begins to overtake him.

“I got you. Fuck yeah. Come on, baby.” I reassure him.

“Oh God, fuck!” He shouts as he cums all over his stomach. A few more thrusts and I follow close behind him because seeing Craig Dean cum is enough to throw me over the edge of orgasm.

“Fuck yeah! Oh… oh… yes!” I shout shooting my load into the condom.

I place gentle kisses across his chest as his arms wrap around my back. We lay together skin on skin. I pull back to admire his body running my hand up his chest and then down to his groin. Craig’s hands run through his hair.

“Are you okay?” I ask him. He answers me with a kiss.

I pull him into my arms where he settles down and finally says, “Fuck yeah.”


End file.
